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Happy Wedding Anniversary to Me & Steph | The Valuable Lesson I Learned in 9 Years of Marriage

Today is my 9-year wedding anniversary. I remember being in the earlier stages of my relationship with Stephon and wishing it was 9 months instead of 9 weeks or 9 days.

I have a habit of always planning the future. This habit, although constructive, can sometimes prevent you from completely submersing yourself in the joy of the present. I can say it has for me.

Steph and I are tight on funds right now. We are running the photo business and constricting our budgets in other aspects to simplify our lifestyle so that we can have more time to reach some very important spiritual goals.

Last night, Stephon poured warm water with Epson salt in a bucket so that I could soak my feet while we watched the latest part of the Powerful by Faith Convention. The day before that he brought me a beautiful card.

I looked at him with eyes of gratitude and he smiled that amazing dimply smile I love, to explain that because it’s not in our budget to do something big this year to celebrate year nine, that he committed to doing small acts of love and kindness for the week to celebrate this year instead.

The card he picked out sums up where we are in our relationship right now. It reads:

“For my wife. Sometimes in the busy moments of our everyday life, it’s hard to find time for the quiet you-and-me stuff…But when we do, everything else seems to fall away, and it’s just the two of us in our own little world. I love that world—and I love that you’re the one I get to share it with.”

Like many girls who listened to what Hollywood tells us love should look like, I too waited for my prince charming. I ate up the grand gestures of all the rom-coms, in fact, this consumption defined romance for me.

I thought romance was poems, love letters, getting caught in the rain and sharing a dramatic kiss like a scene from The Notebook. It meant the spark, you know, the butterflies in your stomach and fireworks in your heart with every kiss?

Reality is. That’s an unrealistic definition.

For the longest time, I thought my husband and I had a different definition of romance. I even complained about it. My definition consisted of eating chocolate-covered strawberries with champaign on a hot air balloon ride while looking at the sunset in Santorini Greece. Steph’s version of romance was making me tea in the morning.

Not saying that the grand gestures aren’t romantic, but if you have a narrow definition of romance like I did, you’ll be dissatisfied with your relationship.

Why am I telling you all of this?

I want you to learn from my mistakes.

Romance IS your husband bringing you tea in the morning.

Romance IS your husband purchasing your pads cause you forgot to stock up before your period surprised you.

Romance IS being brave enough to have uncomfortable conversations.

Romance IS owning up and admitting to your mistakes.

Romance IS your husband taking out the trash every week.

Romance IS saying I’m sorry and meaning it.

Romance IS remembering that you are in the same corner not on different ends of the room when a dispute arises.

Romance IS in the mundane.

It only took me 9 years to figure that out.

Grand gestures are beautiful, thoughtful, and creative. BUT let’s not forget everyday subtleties that truly make a marriage last.

What does your husband do that is romantic to you?

  1. Stephon Pereyra says:

    Awww shucks 😊… Happy Anniversary mi amor!

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